Chaos I Call My FaRmily: November 2011

I'm an aunt, daughter, sister, friend, believer, etc. There is a long list of words that make me giggle. I believe in having ice cream for dinner, making strangers smile and finding magic in the smallest of moments. Let's face it, if you found your way here, you probably already know me... I have nothing significant to offer the blogosphere, so this is my online diary so when I'm insane one day and lost all my real diaries that I started a million times and never finished - I have this.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Classic “Thanksgiving Post”

I’d like to give a shout-out to Hayley Goff for creating my new banner J

Well you all saw it coming… the “Thanksgiving post”. Everyone who’s anyone in the blogging world features Thanksgiving and lists the beautiful things they are thankful for and posts amazing pictures of the Martha Stewart-like meals they strategically planned and created from scratch. This… is not one of those posts.

I did not take joy and pleasure in cooking the Thanksgiving meal this year. It hasn’t always been my dream to do so and although I love any excuse to spend time with my family (especially out-of-staters;)), my preparing ANYTHING that another human is going to eat is scary and stressful for everyone involved. When people found out I was cooking the meal everyone they started giving me tips (clearly worried and rightfully so) - “well put butter in that” and “keep a little water in before you mix it” and “pull the bag off the turkey a half hour before it’s done so it can brown” and “you’re going to want to put lemon on that so they don’t brown”… it’s like… HOW THE HECK DO YOU ALL KNOW THESE THINGS?! Did I miss that part of childhood? Was I absent that day in school when they were teaching people how to plan/prepare and time a hugely important meal? Thank goodness for wonderful friends!

However petrified I was, I did (of course) plan everything I could ahead of time. I made a test apple pie, which I was told was good, although I’m sure Hayley wouldn’t have wanted to take the wind out of my sails if it wasn’t. I shopped, planned, crossed off my lists and kept myself hydrated (with something alcoholic of course). When all was said and done, we did NOT end up ordering take out and whether it was the truth or not, everyone said they enjoyed everything, which I appreciate. Although my dad could have done without the pre-cut cheese I bought. Evidently it wasn’t the smash hit I thought it would be, although I thought it was genius and saved a ton of time. Plus they taste better all cut straight and everything.

We did of course; miss my sister, who is somewhere praying that child out of her. Hopefully he comes soon. I’ve never seen her so impatient in my lifeJ Clearly he’s making a statement, which I am familiar with and support, since I am not the one doing the work to get him out here to all of us.

This brings me to the cheesy part of this where I just can’t help but share all I’m thankful for this year… it just wouldn’t be a “Thanksgiving post” without it –

1. I am thankful for the family that was able to be together this holiday, since it’s been years since we’ve been together for the holidays. Even though it was for a sad but glorious reason, it was lovely to see everyone pull together.

2. I am thankful for the family that God has created for me here in Boston. I couldn’t be more blessed to have found these people. Even when things are at their worst, it’s hard to lose sight when you have a wonderful support system willing to carry you until you can stand again. I would do anything for these women.

3. I am thankful for my independence and my home and my things. Working with students in Boston does nothing but remind you how much you have; how little my struggle is compared to theirs. I never take my apartment for granted and wouldn’t dream of trading roommates!

4. I am thankful for the opportunity to go the Women’s Conference in NY, with mom and Shauna. It was a wonderful reminder of why we are all here and what the possibilities are within each of us and I value them all. (Now if I could just decide which of the 17 paths I would like to go down from here….)

5. I am thankful for my two nephews who remind me how much fun it is… to just be alive and enjoy the little things. Such simple minds are such a refreshing thing to be a part of. They love simply, they forgive simply, they enjoy simply and it’s important to remember those things are what matter most – and who better to remind us than kids who mispronounce words with a huge food-stained grin on their face?

6. I am thankful for Charlotte. Let’s face it. She puts up with me daily. She makes me laugh even when I want to strangle her. She understands my food rules and doesn’t judge. She is constantly supplying me with ammo to pick on her. But most importantly, she works really hard and I’m thankful she lets me be a part of all she is becoming and capable of.

7. I am thankful for Hayley. She basically is the reason I make it from year to year as sane (that’s debatable I suppose) as I am. Although, when I’m being crazy she makes me feel I’m the most normal person in the world. She understands me before I even say/type something. She has memorized my food rules as well and in addition to working around them, she challenges me to expand myself in a great way. She keeps me grateful, honest and accountable. She joins me when I’m in my boring sweat-pants mood and accompanies me when I’m in my let’s make some bad decisions mood. She’s the cause of many tears (in wonderful ways) and many buzzes. I’ll never be able to thank her enough for being a part of my life. Although being one of her MOH’s, might make us even ;)

8. I’m thankful for the opportunity to be getting my Masters for free… or at all really. For as much as I have dreaded my classes and the work and struggled, at the core I really am grateful for the opportunity to have met the people through my courses that I’ve met. They’re great people to be learning from and they’ve made my experience what it is.

9. I’m thankful for the next season that awaits us, although it doesn’t quite feel like it, since the weather has been so great! I love everything about the Christmas season and hope it doesn’t go by as fast as it normally does. I guess I’ll have to take a lot more mental pictures of the picturesque moments that seem to happen this time of year.

So with Thanksgiving over, this means I get to start concentrating on CHRISTMAS! The GREATEST time of the year! I have completely decorated my office so it looks like you stepped RIGHT into the North Pole and have all of my decorations out and ready to be put up at home. I cannot WAIT for our traditions to start. Hayley, Tyler, Charlotte and I will go get a tree together, drink hot chocolate, buy holiday decorations…. (although this year it might include sweating if I’m carrying my tree around in 60 degree weather) Mmmmm – I can smell the pine just thinking about it. I will tackle the rest of my Christmas shopping slowly but surely. Hayley and I need to sit down and make plans for our Winter Walking in the common with all the lights, dinners, scarves and coats and hats… I cannot wait! (Please all be prepared that by February I will be condemning the snow and cold, so take this while it lasts).

On the more depressing side of things. I have 14 days to finish a whole crap load of work for school that I am no way near finishing. Everything about class and grad school and everything related to it is making me nauseous. I just need the semester to be over so I can be a sane person again! It’s taken over my life. All I do is work/study/write and sleep. It’s getting old. BUTTT on the bright side, I have 4 more classes and 1 semester left and I CANNOT wait for June 1!

I suppose on that note I should really start tackling a paper or two.

I hope you all enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday and were grateful to be with your families!

I’ll leave you with a life lesson: Life is short… buy pre-cut cheese to save the time you could be spending with your families.

xoxo

Meet The Fam

Mom- The strongest woman I know. I attribute my humor, sarcasm and momentary lapses of sensitivity to her. My neurotic organization and timeliness could also be traced back to her, easily. I keep telling her I will make a shirt that says “only my Mother gets me”… She not only has the ability to laugh at herself, but the suspense of what may come out of her mouth next is completely worth every minute you spend with her. Every day I aspire to be as selfless as she and hope to have the same energy that she has every day! The time we spend together is rarely productive, but most often taken up by running to the bathroom with tears of laughter streaming down our faces. Or… spitting things out of our mouths- which dad loves.

Dad- The person I most often, unintentionally mirror. So many ways to explain him, but none more effective than: a Portuguese, work-a-holic, addicted to caffeine and nicotine, impressed by callouses and blood, who doesn’t know what it feels like to sit down, be bored or not know something. The man carries the most random, seemingly useless, facts and knowledge around with him. I joke that there won’t be much more room left in there if he keeps memorizing what I call “trivial” and he calls “necessary” facts about life and the world. Although he IS very handy when converting units for recipes, etc. He, too, is able to laugh at himself and always finds time to teach a good lesson. His wilderness skills are something to be admired, although his instinct to seek medical attention should not. He prides himself on still being able to run faster than me and beat me up, regardless of my age or weight. I’m still waiting for the day he isn’t expecting me…

Shauna- The milk man’s delivery, as I like to call her- Like every abnormal family, sibling rivalry was at its finest until we both traded in our stone-washed flared jeans for our big girl pants. We couldn’t be more opposite, she and I. Some of you would think, “Well, opposites attract” - you’d be wrong. We’ve worked through the years to a place of acceptance and support that is coated with humor and tough love. She’s always been a 40 yr old stuck in a whatever-age-she-was-at-the-time’s body and I exist as the sister to bring comic relief and nonsense to her carefully arranged life. But her protectiveness and respect for her family is unmatched by anyone I have ever met. She is widely known for her smile and constantly takes you off guard when she trades in her pensive stare for a witty one-liner. My victories with her stem from how many abnormal acts I can talk her into doing (which is a lot). Although her life always seems to be enveloped in constant chaos she has a resilient way of finding the blessing and purpose in every day.

Derek- The brother-in-law. We have always wanted a boy in the family. Until Derek came, I was the closest thing to it and played the role accidentally when it came to following dad around covered in grease. Derek or “the trainee” as I so lovingly like to refer to him, is carefully walking the line between finding his new family quirky and loveable and… crazy. It’s not a secret (or won’t be for long) that I play a rough game of tough love and hard-ass. As he works at earning every inch, he is finding our humorous and good-intentioned family a place where he belongs. As with every boy, he has his set-backs, but I think we will find that if he can handle us, he can handle anything. We all have to give him some credit for sticking with it and not to mention he contributed 50% of himself to my favorite treasure… my nephew.

Blane- Who knew the above two could create such a nugget of perfection. He is 4 and already such a wonderful human being! It’s all happening so fast! He seems to fit in juuussstt fine and already spends most of his time organizing his cars and using sarcasm. (I have no clue where he got that from by the way). He is SO smart and SO sensitive and caring. He's not a huge fan of sharing with his brother, but hey, I'm 26 and I still don't have the sharing thing down.I spend most of my time imagining the days when I will be able to take him to do all of the things Shauna/the law won’t let him do. What are Aunts for anyway?

Brooks- AKA Mr. Snarky-pants.What a handful! He reminds me of myself as a monstrous child. He is, however, the most polite little snark you'll ever meet. His adorable pronunciations of things and his constant questions won't keep you mad for long. In his almost 2 years of life the only thing that can get him to sleep when he's having one of his meltdowns is my singing to him. Melt. My. Heart. He has SO MUCH personality and his voice has one volume. Loud. What an entertainer though. I could watch him for hours.

Hayley- You know that best friend in every movie that every girl wants? She’s wild, unpredictable, endlessly supportive, loving, hilarious, and driven and always finds an adventure out of a mere walk down the street. She vocalizes things most people just think, finds people she encounters fascinating and always makes time for everyone. Well… not to brag, but that’s my best friend Hayley. She is my conscience, my support, my free therapist, my teacher, my patience. No one loves life more. She is constantly challenging herself, improving herself, keeping an open mind about everyone and their beliefs and is never afraid to admit when she just “doesn’t know”.She is currently engaged to someone who literally fits her so perfectly, I would gag if I didn’t love her so much and I wasn’t so grateful to God that she can be blessed in this way. A day without a thought, message or text from her is a day you have missed out on. Her Hayley-isms keep everyone guessing, laughing and appreciating her.

Charlotte- Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte… where do I begin with her? Think of the last person on earth you would ever imagine getting along with, understanding or appreciating… and then meet Charlotte. No one has taught me more than she has. In the past 4 years that I have known her, I have watched her go from a tough-as-nails, pessimistic, don’t-need-anyone, who-needs-a-direction type; to a goal-oriented, independent, selfless, thoughtful, hilarious, irreplaceable person in my life. Most people that interact with us agree that we should have our own reality show, but that usually leads into a fight about who would be the star. Her Puerto-Rican/Southie accent lends additional humor to whatever she is saying and makes you want to know her, if not, be her friend. As all roommates require, we have a routine that seems to work and although there are the moments we would like to kill each other, it’s hard to hold a grudge with someone who forgets what the issue was 30 seconds after it’s over. I thank God every day that I did not follow my instinct to run from her the day we met, but chose to stay and am grateful to be included in the people who get to watch her daily performance.

Lindey - Partner-in-crime doesn't even capture the things I have talked this girl into doing with me. She's the Bonnie to my Clyde. We go wayyyy back. Back to the days of dances, horrible bangs, skipping class and going to each others' sporting events. Life eventually got rough (as it tends to do) and we broke up... (any "we were on a break, Friends fans?"). However, we found our way back to each other, picked up right where we left off and I wouldn't have it any other way. I still cannot believe we're allowed to be grown-ups. And even though she is one of the most amazing mothers ever, I still have SUCH a hard time believing she is a wife and is a mother of two! She's literally super-woman and I'm just blessed to be in her presence. Whether I have an awful impulse to do something dumb or a thought out impulse to conquer the world, she always supports me. I've never been so proud to be friends with someone who grew so seamlessly with me from immature tweens to grown-ups with joys and struggles. Since moving back home to PA, she has been my backbone and I'm so lucky to be a part of her life and beautiful family.

Joyce- It’s funny to think of our relationship at its beginning. As hard as it may be to be intimidated by someone with such an infectious warmth and laughter, there I was. She found me as a young student and gave me an opportunity that I didn’t even know I would rise to. As my supervisor, mentor and leader, our relationship only evolved out of the uncanny similarities that we share and perhaps by her nature of wide-acceptance. To this day, I owe her thanks for my full-time job, my Graduate Student status, comic relief from daily struggles, her constant support and much more. There are no two other people on earth that can cover more random topics than she and I can in 20 minutes. She’s almost angelic in her care, concern, empathy and support for others. Anyone who places us both on the same committee or even in the same room usually appreciate our productivity and similar thinking, but also regrets our A.D.D tendencies, our need for constant sugar and our inability to stay on topic. She is truly someone that has blessed my life.

Melissa- Melissa is the the best part of any day she and I get to interact. Her resemblance to a beautifully formed porcelain doll should not be mistaken for instability or frailty. At first, second and third glance you realize how selfless and sensitive she is to everyone, while still maintaining an instinct to preserve her charming and carefully formed life. Her work-ethic guides her tendency to be hard on herself while always keeping in mind her priorities. Most would describe her as shy and introverted, but those who get the great pleasure of getting to know her, quickly find that her wit and sarcasm are hidden jewels that immediately inspire and comfort. She also just got married in the most beautiful ceremony in the most beautiful place. Everything was perfect and so... "Melissa". I am forever grateful to her that I was able to share in her day.

Renata - A new addition to the family, who easily fits in anywhere like the perfect accent to any outfit you have and think to yourself "what would put this over the top?" She is a whirlwind of laughter, wisdom, care, cheerleader and intellect. I almost forgot to add her because I forgot she wasn't always listed here. I feel like I've known her forever. Like that old soul that felt like it was never missing, because you can't remember the last time it was. She seemed to have entered my life at a time when I most needed the words only she can phrase and the support and laughter only she can offer. She is literally the reason I haven't committed a crime at work and puts me in check daily about my expectations and my hopes. She inspires me to trust what I know and dig deeper into what I question. Any day without an interaction is a day I haven't laughed hysterically or thoroughly looked into my moon-sign. You're a rockstar Tutko.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Classic “Thanksgiving Post”

Pageviews