Here Goes...

Okay here it goes: THE post. The resignation, the next step in life, the moving on post. As I’m writing it I still haven’t decided if this is going to make you laugh, cry or… laugh UNTIL you cry. Maybe this will just make me cry as I type it. Who knows, but here goes:

As of October 1, 2012 I will once again be a resident of middle-of-nowhere, PA. Wow – it’s even funny typing it. Most of you reading this know the intense (to say the least) journey that it has been getting to this point. Obviously with Graduation comes that point where you begin to close another chapter, look for a new beginning, start asking the hard questions and start answering the even harder ones.

What does one do with their Masters? I am still in the middle of answering that one- Who knows. But the journey getting it was greater than the title that it gets – and that is what I will remember. That is what stays with me every day and what I actually use in my everyday life. The things I learned while I was learning… if that makes any sense. So do I use my Masters? Yes. Every day. So am I looking for it to get me a higher pay grade or a certain upper level job? Not necessarily. Annnndd I’m digressing – but this gives you a good idea about my thought process as I was graduating and mulling over “next steps”. The “what is expected of me” versus what I expected of myself.

So I started the difficult conversation with myself about what my priorities were at this point in my life. I had already spent 7 years creating WONDERFUL friendships, relationships, memories and acquiring invaluable skills in a field I never pictured myself in. I love helping people and for those 7 years I got to help students. I wouldn’t change anything for the world, but this isn’t my passion. I don’t love what I do and I wanted to be able to say that.

I began applying for jobs. All jobs. Any jobs. After getting 3 interviews – I realized… I didn’t want any of them. I didn’t want to settle for another desk job or job in general that I didn’t enjoy or sign myself up for the obligation to a company for another couple years while I made big decisions or waited for a perfect opportunity to sit at my door. For the first time I wanted a little instability, a little space, a little… less planning and a little more flexibility. (Did any of you just fall on the floor? I’m not being held hostage… it’s really still me writing. Yup. The control freak. Still here.)

I wanted to make my own schedule, try a million things, meet a million different people and do it near the half of my family that I have been furthest away from for 7 years. My housing situation sort of fell into place with a slight push and nudge from Dad, a little bit of security fell into place with an offer from Shauna… and… here we are. Oh yeah and there’s the fact that I consulted the Big Guy and He’s WAY on board. I felt the same thing 7 years ago, the last time He told me to move and I heard Him again and knew the familiar feeling of being told exactly what to do. It’s funny to think back to when I first moved here. Knowing no one, knowing nothing, I’ve come so far and would have never guessed that things would turn out as wonderfully as they have. I never imagined moving here would be SO impactful and change me so much. Thinking back is what makes me excited for all of the potential that lies ahead.

Moving on… my decision was made and it was time to start telling the people that I’ve called my family for so long, that I was moving closer to my other family. Of course it was met with mixed emotions… all out of the goodness of the hearts that I have grown so fond of. A day hasn’t gone by (since the big declaration) that I wasn’t met with a supportive hug, excited smile or loving check-in about “how things are going”.

Wednesday I gave my notice that my last day at work would be 9/28/12. Since then everyone has been so lovely, excited for me, proud of me, wishing I would stay but knowing I can’t… it’s so touching to have so many people just… care.

Things are starting to sink in. All of the emotions. And I do mean all of them. I feel like a crazy-person.

I’m SO excited:

To re-connect with “old” friends – that I left years ago. To be able to watch all the new kiddos grow up and do activities – that I can go to with my bells on and face painted. To be closer to mom and dad (I would say not too close but I’m pretty much in Dad’s work parking lot and you CAN’T get closer than that. I think he’s REALLY excited about that part.) To live alone for the first time ever. To NOT sit in hours of traffic every day. To enjoy the views. To plan my own days and schedule and be flexible. To see what’s waiting for me…

I’m SO sad:

To be leaving this part of my family. To not see them every day like I can now. To end an era of memories. To say goodbye to SO many people to changed my life and helped me become the person I am. Even casual co-workers who I can count on to brighten my day. To leave the water and the beautiful work view. To leave the security of a job I hate. (Yeah that’s sarcasm but still… security is security people!)

*OF COURSE it goes without saying that it’s only 6 hours away and an easy drive. I will come back and forth all the time, I expect MANY, MANY visitors… it will all be well. I know that.

I’m SO nervous:

I’ve never flown by the seat of my pants like this before. I’ve never moved without having a job. I’ve never lived alone. There are so many unknowns.

But I’m not the same person I was when I left and I know I wouldn’t be who I am had I stayed. I will NOT cheese-line you all with the “everything happens for a reason” phrase. Oh wait… J

This has been one of the craziest summers ever. The weddings, births, transitions. But somehow I’ve found a way to work at the new house and get enough done that it is as ready as it will be to move in. I had a BLAST at Soupy’s wedding, spent time with Lindey’s new piece of perfection – Hallie, and continued to plan/prep for Hayley’s wedding (which IS SO FRIGGIN close that it’s a little scary). All of these distractions have helped me avoid the inevitable goodbye-for-nows that need to happen. Oh yes, procrastinating is in full effect… ahhh the familiarity-

So here goes. Here goes taking the advice that most people give and few people take. Here goes the beginning of a journey with more questions than answers. Here goes strengthening the relationships I’m leaving in Boston by providing distance for more love and support to grow. Here goes.

I’m sure you thought I would be wrapping this up with a good ole happy ending or a big grand finale of success. But this is being written right before I turn down the road. Who knows how it will turn out or if another turn or bend in the road will present itself, but for now, at this point in my journey, my windows are down because my A/C is still broken, the wind is blowing my bangs in my face as I’m spitting them out of my mouth, my music is blaring and people are staring... and I’m REALLY looking forward to parking my car in Mansfield, PA for the next few years and seeing what happens.

Blenders, Blogs and Blessings

It has been consistently so.hot.out. Annnd conveniently, the air conditioner in my car has a leak and will not work. Yay. I also cannot put an air conditioner in my room and have to stick with the fan that just recirculates the hot air that stays in my room, because my psycho cats need to be locked out of the room at night. Needless to say, it’s warm pretty much everywhere I go but my office, in which case I’m FREEZING. But I refuse to complain about these things, because I’m pretty sure I could find some rants on here about how cold/dreary the winter was and how much I wanted summertime to be here. Now it’s here – I won’t be the complainer! I will tan and drink water and look at my tan and smile.

So one of my last posts had something about how much I love having my music blaring and my windows down driving in my car, well, it should go without saying that that’s my favorite thing ALL summer long. The other night I was driving home from Hayley’s and had my music blaring (I just downloaded a ton of good songs… my iPod was my oyster) and I’m singing/belting along with probably Carrie or Patty, waiting at the red light. My heads bobbing, I’m using the steering wheel as my drum – you know the scene. I look to my left… Yup. 5 people literally 4 feet away from me staring at me waiting for the crosswalk sign to release them from the pain of hearing me not doing my best version of anything. I have to admit I was actually a little embarrassed. The embarrassment lasted until the next light when I decided to just try harder to hit the right notes so if I was putting on a concert, it was at least worth their time waiting on the corner.

J I just looked at my summer calendar and it’s going to fly by!

Mom – if you’re reading this… (which you better be, because you’re retired now and have plenty of time… haha) you should start updating your blog on your daily adventures!! Take more pictures and blog! I won’t promote your site until you have it up and have some posts, but get going so I can link up with you! J

It’s getting closer and closer to all these wedding events! Hopefully I’ll have a lot of pictures and good memories to show for it

Shout-out to Hayley for her AWESOME margaritas made with her AWESOME new pink blender. Seriously. So good.

In a some-what related area, those who know me or Hayley at all, know that we are devoted blog-readers and aspiring influential bloggers. Recently, a few of the brave authors we follow have been going through some life-changing struggles which they are sharing on their blogs. (In case you are also avoiding your work today, here are a couple: Punky and E-Tells-Tales) In a way, there is a certain safety in blogs. It helps us be real and ourselves without having to watch a reaction we may not understand or like and perhaps shields us from criticism or negative feedback, but it helps us get it out and is a way for us to connect across the miles and try our hand at being a (somewhat amateur) writer. (So apparently I speak for all bloggers now - “we” and “us”… perhaps it is just “I” but either way… stay with me) In another way, it is the scariest and bravest thing to blog about yourself and your life. Opening yourself up to strangers and allowing others to look inside your life and thoughts and possibly judge them. A lot of blogs are all rainbows and butterflies and I tend not to continue following or reading these. I love a blog written about someone who I can relate to – who I can empathize with. Sometimes I admire them, get good ideas, struggle along side them, learn to forgive myself, learn I’m not alone…  It’s a real talent to pull people in in this way. A talent I have not even come close to acquiring – but I’m trying. I absolutely admire and respect people who are willing to share their struggles in an effort to be vulnerable, connect, share and touch. My absolute favorite thing about blogging/bloggers is the support. The following. The fact that an absolute stranger can comment or send you a message of complete support or share a similar struggle that they themselves made it through. That someone whom you may have never met can share words from across the country that could change your life. I’m gonna get a little cynical now: especially in today’s world, it’s harder and harder to trust people and connect and feel like you’re not alone. At the end of the day, we only have each other and don’t we all need a little help and support sometimes?

Okay, that was my long-winded way of saying that if you have time to read a story about a lovely, hard-working family who have come upon hard times and an uncertain future, go to: http://loveforelizabeth.blogspot.com/ . A bunch of her followers started this donation site that will go directly towards helping her family. Whether you decide to just pray for the family, or even to donate $5, it’s definitely worth reading.

If you need a little joy after that: http://www.kellehampton.com/

While I’m on the grateful train:

My favorite things:

1- My work study leaving a quote on my desk : “We don’t see things the way they are because we see things the way we are” – Awesome. He also calls me “Peach Meghan”. Adorable.

2- Eating lunch outside at the picnic table in the gorgeous weather

3- Keeping secrets from my BFF ;) …For a little while longer at least

4- The smell of suntan lotion

5- Fresh fruit and corn on the cob!

6- My Passive-Aggressive Notes calendar:)  

A note on one of my not-so-favorite things:

Oh hey, creepy guy in the parking booth at school: I’m pretty sure you’ve been a student here since I started my first degree in 2005. Your ambition and attempts to climb the corporate ladder are only matched by your stylish fashion sense and your efforts toward hygiene. So when you whistled at me this morning I thought to myself... “You’re right. For the past 7 years I have just been denying this magical attraction to you. But right now, just then when you whistled twice at my very normal and NOT inappropriate-at-all outfit, you unlocked my outrageous feelings for you. It was all I could do to resist the urge to come over and lay one on you.”

D-bag. WHY do gross guys whistle?? The Brad Pitts and Paisleys of the world don’t whistle. Neither should you.

Moving onJ….

Yesterday I had the best day off with Joyce! We did some secret wedding/summer sneaking around and it was a great day! It was a beautiful day for a car ride and a good catch-up session with her. I love having a day off in the middle of the week, because I feel like I need a break by Tuesday at 5pm, but… the down side is that I thought yesterday was Friday, pretty much all day. However, by the end of yesterday (while filling in my thankful book, which YES I am keeping up withJ) I got to sit and thank God for the wonderful people he put in my life. I know I started this blog because of them, so obviously they’re pretty special, but being able to spend a whole day with someone whose selfless wish is for everyone else to just… be happy - is a Wednesday blessing if I’ve ever heard one.

So here's to connecting to friends, new or old, near or far, in-person or in-ternet.

Xo.

That Awkward Moment…

The last few posts have been SO serious! And while I am commonly that reflective and pensive I like to balance that with how absolutely FUN I am – or can be – or… have been, in the past. Anywhoodle – enough of the impending changes and emotional rollercoasters and on with the summertime sunshine and everything that comes with it.

For those of you in the Twitter-verse you may have heard of or be following “That Awkward Moment”… well this is basically the story of my life. I laugh quietly at these posts because most of them have happened to me. I’m of the school of thought if you just accept and publicly acknowledge the awkward moment, it will be less awkward. However, this has so far not proven to be true. I have recently (and by recently I mean like… within the last couple of months) found myself involved in conversations that I don’t know how I got myself into. I’m literally telling myself to STOP talking. To just end the conversation and walk away like nothing happened. Like I didn’t start to tell very possibly gross and disturbing, TMI stories that no one asked about. So… sometimes it makes me feel better to notice other people’s awkward moments. It makes me feel not so alone.

It’s supposed to be 100 degrees today. People. are. freaking. out. It cracks me up. Worrying about how hot their cars will be later, how badly their sweat stains will be by the end of the day, not being able to be at the beach, their not-so-ready bathing suit bodies… I love this time of year. If I had to pick ONE favorite thing about summertime, it’s watching amateur “runners”.

Only... less self aware -

It’s like the sun comes out and everyone goes into panic “workout” mode. People who have never owned a sports bra or running shoes in their life feel called to shed those pounds now and fast by “running”. You can ALWAYS tell the amateurs from the seasoned cross-country enthusiasts. They run all flat-footed, look EXHAUSTED and in need of help (and you know they just left their house) and are practically just walking fast enough that it could be mistaken as a jog. They have horrible form that somewhere my old track and cross-country coaches would be shaking their heads at in dismay and they’re totally planning their reward for all this effort in their head “You can do this. And when you get home you can have ice cream. With chocolate sprinkles. And caramel. You deserve it. After all you’re running right now. Great job.” Awkward. LOVE summer-only-panic “runners”.

Moving on to something I DO NOT enjoy about summer time. I think this is where the warning part comes in. Please make sure there are no kiddos near you for this gem. I think this is rated D – for DISTURBING:

And I mean… I get it tighty-whitey-dude. We all want sun. It’s why we’re at the beach. I’m not gonna hate on your need for some Vitamin D and your apparent desire to scar young children who are just trying to build the best sand castle of their life; they need to learn early the definition of stranger-danger and realize why their parents bring SO MANY toys to the beach to distract them from asking uncomfortable questions about strangers that parents hate to answer… If people like you didn’t test the boundaries of social norms, we would have none. So – the next time you feel the need to disrobe and spread-eagle in your undies, why not pick a park or playground instead, and mix it up? Ummm… awkward.

In COMPLETELY unrelated news: this past weekend was Hayley’s BRIDAL SHOWER!

Small stresses aside… it was awesome! It was my first tea and it was beautiful. Hayley was VERY surprised and it was really nice to spend time with (almost) all the bridesmaids. I am VERY fortunate that for as much time as we all need to spend together I honestly and truly enjoy and love every bridesmaid. I suppose that’s a reflection of Hayley’s impeccable tasteJ They’re all WONDERFUL and I’ll be a little sad when we no longer have to band together for such a great cause.

… I guess I won’t go so far as to add this guy to the family-members on the right, but he DOES deserve an introduction. Enter: Parker Harry Bear. Yup. That’s first. middle. last. First - for all of you that even think for a second that I’m too old for a teddy bear: you’re wrong. NO ONE is too old to be hugged by a teddy bear and I’m tempted to say you’re just plain old not hugged often enough in general if you’re hating on a teddy-hug. Second – you’re lying to yourself and everyone else if you say you did NOT cry during Toy Story 3. And I couldn’t let that happen to me or him, so I saved him. And I would do it again. So: for the past couple of weeks since I gave him a home, we have had sleepovers, cuddle sessions and he apparently loves pets; cats and dogs. Of course he does. Adorable.

Mom, Shauna and the boys are coming to visit this weekend, which I can’t wait for! When my sleep deprivation can be chalked up to adorable little boys it’s so much more tolerableJ

I should probably actually work while I’m at work… but NOT before I give you some of my recent faves.

My Favorite Things:

1. My Alex & Ani bracelets I got for graduation!

2. The sun reflecting so beautifully off the water on campus this morning.

3. Sleepovers with Parker.

4. Feta – on pretty much anything at this point.

5. Today’s Country Hits and Sons Of Anarchy channels on my Pandora.

Now go enjoy the sweltering heat and have yourselves an awkward moment, loves.
Xo.

Everything Happens For A Reason

So much going on, I need to start being better about updating this more regularly!

Well, there is a first time for everything and I have officially disappointed Blane. I brought my guitar with me to PA a couple of weeks ago and thought he and I could play around and make songs and stuff. Well – I didn’t think through that exactly. Not only was he making requests that I could not step up to, he demanded I sing “the Tangled song” acapella. I didn’t see this coming. So I played the song on my phone so I could sing along. It hadn’t even begun yet and was still in the intro and he yells “Sing with your mouth Tia!” So we (I) continued to sing Tangled alllll weekend. Needless to say I am unfortunately sick of that song and still do not know his requested songs on my guitar well enough to bring it back to face him. It will go down in history as the first time I truly disappointed that boy. Lol.

I want to thank Hayley for keeping me busy all day at work  last Wednesday by having to continually peel an adhesive off my eyelid, as I supported her in her “I wonder what fake eyelashes would look like/feel like whim”. Hers actually looked really nice and natural. I was one swipe of eye shadow and set of fishnets away from working a pole. Why do I do whatever she says?

My graduation dinner was fun! Mom and Hayley came to support me and watched me get the clock I can’t read! But it LOOKS fancy and important!

Anyway, it was really nice to see my classmates again and loved being able to bring my favorite people together to meet. It reminded me how NOT in control I am of everything, regardless of the time and energy I put into maintaining a control I think I have. This is funny to write and probably funnier to read but… I feel like God really knows me. Like – of course he MADE me so he knows me, but I mean… he like KNOWWWWS me. He’s constantly putting these “coincidental” themes in my life and I LOVE recognizing them and then pointing out each time it rings true for any amount of time. Not only does it keep me entertained, but it’s really the only time I find myself truly giving in and listening like “Okay. I get it. Point made. I know what I’m supposed to do.” I can’t count how many times in the past couple weeks I’ve found myself thinking or heard myself saying “well everything happens for a reason and I know there’s something else going on here, so…” It comes with the weirdest peace and a few more patience than I normally have.

People keep leaving this little gems of knowledge or inspiration while we’re talking and they don’t even know they’re doing it, but they’re perfect and they stay with me and remind me everything around me happens for a reason.

I made a quick decision to go home to PA again for Memorial Day and I’m VERY glad I did. It was full of wonderful weather, great family moments, laughter, relaxation, birthday joy and staring at my beautiful nephews glow in the light of the bonfire.

It’s these spur-of-the-moment decisions in life that keep me giggling to myself about my control issues. I’m sure God’ giggling constantly too “there she goes again, thinking she knows the plan and making her own plans”… but it’s always a wonderful reminder that everything happens for a reason. It’s the unplanned moments that make the best memories in life and end up being worth whatever struggle big or small that may have preceded it.

The rest of the summer is going to fly by. I just have this feeling I need to make a concentrated effort this summer to take time to actually appreciate every aspect the summer has to offer and make the best of it. Hopefully this means I’ll take more pictures and document it better, but for now… I will add it to my list of things to do.

For those of you who know me better than I’d like to admit, you know how I love my lists. I have a list binder. Yup. A binder FULL of lists. Neurotic? Maybe. But full nonetheless. It’s what keeps me from doing my actual work at work but gets me through to the nights and weekends. Nothing makes me feel better than crossing stuff off a list. The sense of accomplishment, the sense of having “not been lazy if you took 2 things off your list today” and the realization that there is more to life than working and getting bogged down by others’. The lists keep me moving and on that note, here is another:

My Favorite Things:

1. My new lip gloss that smells like melon

2. GRADUATING

3. Driving Shauna’s car for a while– which I LOVED J

4. Discussing my horoscope daily with Renata

5. Spring cleaning and organizing

6. Grown-up sleepovers on school nights

7. Bonfires on summer nights

Regardless of how crazy things get and how swept up we all get in something that means a lot to us or even something that means a lot to someone we care about, it’s important that we take the time to ask ourselves for the bigger reason something could be happening. At the end of the day everything happens for a reason and sometimes, for us control freaks, there’s comfort in knowing you don’t have control.

Have a blessed week lovesJ

xo

Times They Are A Changing...

Perfect soundtrack to this post: Bob Dylan's see above.

The Red Sox game was a success! (For Hayley and I… NOT the Sox.) SO MUCH FUN! Hayl and I took a bunch of pictures, I mistook Glen Davis for someone I went to school with and Hayley offered a stranger some nuts. All in all it embodied most of time together: hysterically fun.

I always enjoy going home, not just for the obvious reason of getting to see my family but because I love the 12 hours reserved and set aside for me, my tunes, and my thoughts. I always feel so energized going home and getting a chance to re-connect with the things and people that helped make me, me.

Blane is officially 3! I cannot believe how old AND young he is! With Brooks around it reminds me of Blane being that small just yesterday and my wondering what his voice would sound like (for the record I am no longer curious… he uses it A LOT). But at the same time he acts so much older, I think he makes us all forget how young he is. He is so smart and funny already. We have inside jokes, handshakes, songs… it’s so easy to forget how young and innocent he is. I love watching him discover new things and learn new things and ask questions – not just for the sake of talking but because he actually remembers the answers and applies them. He already figured out the PERFECT way for me to do anything for him and give him whatever he wants: (Puts his hands on my cheeks) “Tia. My love you.” Done. Put a bow on it, stick a fork in it. I will give him ANYTHING. ANY TIME. ANY WHERE. Scrumptious!

Brooks – is… still in his drooling, crying, sleeping (not for long) phase, so there’s really not much to report on in that area.

Derek and I have found common ground – finally. I believe it stemmed from the mysterious disappearance of certain Superbowl scenes, which the heavens deleted in an effort to keep him alive. J

It was a great weekend with family and friends and it was much needed. Shout-out to Lindey for coming with me to what could have been awkward and turned into a VERY fun and eventful day. Including, but not limited to: a hit and run, sitting in the car for over an hour in the rain, forming a sub-party in the dining room and making friends in parking lots with my crazy hand gestures.

I also got to go to the Troy auction, which I always enjoy, even though this time I appeared to be one of the attractions… was it my outfit? My hair? I’m FROM there – not really sure why I looked so out of place- Either way, it’s like you get an inside look into a past time that is missing from every town that doesn’t hold one. I’m sure it could be a culture shock to out-of-towners, but it makes me feel like I’m home… even when I’m hiding from people I know… haha.

Back to Boston we go…

I was listening to one of my favorite songs ever “Change” by Blind Melon and it reminded me that it’s such an exciting time right now. A time for big changes and a time to evaluate the things that I wish to remain exactly the same. Change is always scary and I am not exempt from the fear or anxiety that comes with it. But sometimes, and it has been VERY few times, I can feel God telling me something and pointing me somewhere. I won’t bore everyone with all the signs, evidence and conversations, but He is definitely getting me ready to leave to the next thing I’m supposed to do and the next place I’m supposed to be. And above all fear and sadness and anxiety I may feel, I can’t help but be overcome with excitement over feeling so special that God is giving me a direction and remembering I need to remain quiet and patient (haha – good one huh?) enough to wait for the map and instructions that will soon follow.  It’s so poetic: spring turning into summer; weather changes, people changes, life changes, meeting new friends, saying goodbye to ghosts and celebrating new phases through marriage and births… everything is changing. I’m lucky to have people in my life that support the change and don’t question me or it, but just… love. Because it’s hard to find and if you would turn your attention to the list of lovers in the right-hand column… there they are.

Cue the Sound of Music…. Here are some of

My Favorite Things:

1. Driving with my windows down singing my favorite song

2. Getting back in touch with Javier (my guitar)

3. Watching people who do NOT know they are being watched

4. My new comforter or duvet for my home and garden-inclined friends

5. Swapping out my winter closet for my summer closet

I hope you find a little time today to thank God for a change in your life.

-XOXO

YOU’RE NOT GONNA BREAK MY SOO-OUULLLL

Shout out to Katy Perry for getting me through the final stretch of Grad school. Her song may or may not be about a man… but as far as I’m concerned - I would like a divorce from my Master’s program. However, I’ve committed myself, taken an oath in front of witnesses and dammit I will finish this unless death parts us.

I had a bit of a slip into a procrastination/avoidance hole or – crater… but I picked myself up (with the help of some encouraging words from Hayley, some threatening words from my mom, and a good ‘ole hug from Joyce) and found a groove - I hope (everyone knock on wood as you read this). Additional shout-out to Joyce for letting me use her office which is a magical, silent cave of productivity. Legit – got SO much done the past couple weeks that I am more than motivated to continue chipping away at the 100+ pages of writing I need to finish in order to graduate. (This is the cause of the blogging hiatus. I know how many of you have been disappointed with the lack of updates.)

Add to that all of the great things I keep looking forward to! A 3 day work week this week! Blane’s birthday and going home this weekend! (That should be interesting considering calves have been spending the night in my kitchen since March. I wonder what other strange things I will have to report on.) Spending time with friends during the beautiful weather! I almost went to a dark place this morning (sorry Charlotte) but smelled the fresh cut grass when I pulled onto campus this morning and felt that I could get through the next couple days without committing a crime.

You know who else won’t break my soul? The hoochie-mamas who think a little warm weather is the perfect excuse to dress like a stripper at SCHOOL! For the record if your skin is sticking out further than your jean shorts – you should NOT be wearing them. If you can’t walk without getting a wedgy – you shouldn’t be wearing it. If you have more than 3 different color straps showing between your tank top(s) and bra… it’s 2012 – buy a strapless or a clasp or one of the other 50 million products that help make straps unnecessary or invisible. We get it. You’re wearing a bra. Last comment on summer-wear: if you can feel a breeze somewhere, it means we can see it.

Now I don’t know much about fashion, etc. and I am still struggling with my own outfit choices (shout out to Hayley for intervening long ago) but I do know what it looks like to not have a friend who politely suggests you change before entering the public.

It may also be a good time to politely suggest to others in conversation how important it is to keep deodorant handy as it gets warmer. You just never know when that stuff will wear off… like in a crowded elevator, or small classroom… Butttt in keeping with the summer-y theme, I am very excited to break out my dresses this year. Once classes are over I plan on substituting class time with exercise time, which will hopefully make a difference in time for the important events I have coming upJ

I also decided to replace my traffic reports with a My Favorite Things segment. It’s not that people are driving better or aren’t as interesting – it’s just that my staring at these strange traffic incidents is going to cause me to be the star of my own traffic report…

This week my favorite things are:

1) Going to bed with the window open; letting the night bugs lull me to sleep

2) Smelling the fresh cut grass

3) The sunglasses that look better on me than on Charlotte (it’s okay we’ll find you new ones)

4) My new black pumps

5) Finding random things to craft with and add to my future nautical themed apartment

6) Having not smudged my nails after painting them for the first time EVER

Hayley and I are going to a Red Sox game tonight and if you don’t hear me mention her from here on out, it’s because she refuses to take pictures next to me and we broke up.

I hope you all take a little time today to let the sun kiss your beautiful facesJ

-XO-

Ketchup... because it's my favorite pun and condiment

My buddy Blane visited me with mom the other weekend. By far one of the funniest weekends I’ve had. Between his mispronunciation of Charrette and Hayree to his long story about how a Tiger bit him (thanks Charlotte) – he was the source of a ton of laughter. He was a good sport putting up with 4 women all weekend. Such a trooper.

 We all miss him so much already!

It was one of my favorite people in the entire world’s birthday this past week! Yup – Robert Downey Jr. celebrated his… oh waitttt nevermind. It was Hayley’s J Just kidding love. She graciously let Charlotte and I be a part of her celebration and we had a wonderful time at the Fat Cat (for out-of-towners… go ahead and laugh – their food/drinks are to die for but they DO have fat cats everywhere – I’m sure that was Charlotte’s favorite part).

Besides the small hiccup of Charlotte singing “Happy Birthday to Holly” it was good times per usual. (A.k.a she'll be lucky to be invited to her 26th). I bombarded her with birthday messages every hour because saying it once just isn’t enough… HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAYL!!!!!! Love you-xo.

Well for all of those worried: the double trouble Tavares weekend was a success. Yup my dad and I managed to not get into too much trouble and got a lot done and even though it was a short amount of time - it was just long enough to:

• Make me realize no amount of gym time will make me fit enough to compete with him/walk where he walks.
• Have basically agreed/signed into stone that I would forever be cutting my own cheese from here on out.
• Have almost killed my cat by sleeping on top of the box spring and mattress she was under. Yup. Under.
• Bow to the skills of dad in his ability to back his dually into my hard-to-fit-a-Subaru-parking-space
• Get blown away (literally) by the gale force winds (that dad brought with him) while trying to carry a mattress. Mr. Lightweight didn’t help much.
• Play a prank on mom. She’s so easy.  

It was a great weekend full of life lessons.

*It has come to my attention that I don't take enough pictures. I once had a friend who took so many pictures I wanted to SCREAM and break her camera... but now - I realized how many photo-ops I miss in one day. This is my new goal for the week.

I guess this could be considered a traffic report:

This morning on my way to work, during my half hour, 30 mph, normally boring ride on I-93, I saw the greatest inspiration for a story line than I could have ever imagined. On the side of the road one after the other: a pink wig, a whip, a muscle shirt and a shoe. NO LIE folks. Pinky swear. Now what in the HELL happened there? The commute went by SO FAST after that that I didn’t get enough time to imagine all the scenarios that involved those items… I was going to list some here, but I’d like to keep this family-friendly. Plus – I gather your imagination will do most of the work for you. Thank you Wednesday-morning-blues-Gods.

Side note: I miss chicken noodle soup day in our caf. I don't even want to talk about it except to say... who the hell eats Mulligatawny soup or US Senate Bean Soup? Who even knows what it is??

I WISH I WAS LYING:

Soup Sensations
Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
Old Fashioned Chicken Noodle	Hearty Beef Vegetable	Split Pea with Ham	Mulligatawny	New England Clam Chowder
Vegetarian Black Bean	Cream of Broccoli	Curried Vegetable	Chunky Vegetable Orzo	US Senate Bean Soup

Simply based on this I need a new job. Anyone who knows of one should let me know immediately. (Chicken noodle soup availability isn't a requirement, just a perk).

I believe I had avoided my homework long enough.

May the rest of your Wednesday and week be full of inappropriateness.

xo.

Inspired...

It’s the only way I can describe how I’m feeling without lulling you all into a positivity coma.

There are moments I believe, in life where God just looks right at you. I mean, stares you in the face and you have no idea it’s Him when it’s happening, until you’re replaying your day later. Then you think of all the things you should have said or thought about. Well, God’s been looking me right in the eyes lately and I just started feeling so lucky and… inspired.

A couple weeks ago I was driving to Hayley in Belmont to go look at bridesmaid’s dresses. I was running late (for the first time in my life) and was sitting at a light impatiently waiting for it to turn green, when I saw a homeless man pacing up and down the road yelling. (For those of you not familiar with the city… this is more than normal and I’ve come to barely notice them anymore). However, because it was a beautiful day and my window was down, I actually heard what he was saying. Things like “it’s too beautiful a day to be inside, make sure ya’ll enjoy it” and “life’s too short to be angry and sad, make the best of your day”. As he got closer to my window, I rolled it down more and got a dollar out (as a thank-you for the inspiration. I hardly EVER do this by the way). When he saw my window down, he came over and said “it’s a beautiful day to be joyful young lady and aren’t you a beauty - inside and out I’m sure”.  Well – I mean, a compliment to boot? He earned the dollar. But when I stuck it out the window he backed away and wouldn’t take it “oh no, Miss, that’s not what I’m here for. Just spreading joy and love on this fine day. Not necessary”.

The homeless man refused my dollar. God visited me on Storrow Drive that day.

A few days later on a Thursday, it was almost 50 degrees outside and Renata ( a new friend) and I decided to take a break from work and go for a walk on the harbor. Not only was it the perfect break that helped rejuvenate me, but… God visited me on the harbor that day.

Since then we’ve tried to go on multiple walks and although some days are colder than others, I always look forward to them and am always grateful that this year has been so calming and full of things to be grateful for. So calming, in fact, that I’ve had a chance to notice the beauty right outside of the place I work but used to dread so much.

Not to mention how many wonderful blogs there are out there that not only contain inspired writing and living, but they absolutely inspire their readers. (Chelsea Talks Smack and Enjoying the Small Things) Thanks to Hayley for sending these to me as daily reminders.

Most recently, God visited me at my mechanic’s. Go ahead and laugh… those guys are ANGELS. Not only are they the sweetest most caring and conscientious people ever, they saved me money and wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day. Priceless.

In keeping with the serious tone of this post, I can’t leave out… Whitney. I think it’s one of those things that I will remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when it happened. I rarely feel effected by celebrity deaths and am frustrated when people act like it was their literal family member. But she’s different. So gifted, so gracious, so eloquent. Of course it’s sad that we lost her and won’t get to benefit from her voice or talent, but at least we have our memories of what each of her songs means for us. Even without being here, she inspires and that never dies.

What will I do with all this inspiration? I’m not quite sure. Right now I’m enjoying spending more time playing my guitar, working on exciting crafts, looking for jobs or future opportunities, enjoying the weather and looking forward to all of the wonderful things that will come this year.

In the dullness of winter, I hope each of you find God giving you little moments that inspire you.

xoxo

I Have A Fever…

At this point I’m hoping you’re all worried about me, wondering if I’m laying down, taking Tylenol, holding a washcloth on my head, if not… it’s either because you know me too well, or you’re a jerk.

Either way… no need to fear folks, I’m talking about BIEBER FEVER. Yup. I caught it. Bad. No room for judgment here, so if you insist on judging me for this you should do one of two things: either turn on Never Say Never and get in the game, or stop reading right now because I don’t like dis-believers. So from now on if you’d like to send me tickets to his shows or perhaps a t shirt from his fan site, you can go ahead and do that. He literally makes my day and my Pandora station of his makes me smile – what more could you ask for? Now for all you pervs wondering… he’s going to be 18 this year and we all know I don’t look my age, so put the two together and you get a VERY normal admiration of an artist/inspiration to us all. That is all I have to say about him at this time. Stay tuned though – it comes in waves.

Moving on… I’m sure you’re all wondering how my positivity train is going. Well, we lost a couple of cars and we’ve slowed a bit, but we’re still on the tracks and chugging along. (Please be patient with me as I milk this metaphor for all it’s worth).

                -So far, school is actually going pretty well and I’m on top of everything. I actually even answered a question correctly the other day which not only shocked myself and my classmates but my Professor as well. Good thing he’s not shy about his shock…

                - Work – is not a topic I like to dwell on and having recently been told “we love you for your hard work, but please do less and stop helping”… they’re lucky they see me at all during the day. I have included so many walks, breaks, friendly visits and musical intermissions in my day, it’s a wonder I get ANYTHING done for work or appear to be present at all.

                - The exercise thing… is coming slowly. I’m not beating myself up about the irregularity, but I AM working on it. ESPECIALLY because I’m about to be trying on quite a few dresses in public – now I’m not a huge fan of doing many things in public, let alone changing or trying on clothes. So, trust me, it’s a priority.

Also helping my positivity and ability to move above and beyond work crap is how much other stuff is going on! So many wedding-y things happening. Hayley and I started attempting some crafts for her wedding. Let’s just say we learned A LOT in a short amount of time and now we’ll be on a roll and practically experts at DIY projects, so look out wedding world.

Actually I haven’t done one of these in a while:

Traffic report:

Car: Green Subaru. Driver: Me – 7:30am commute.

Incident: Singing at the top of my lungs, while incorporating dance moves I should patent.

There was a guy who literally was staring at me for like 2 miles. Now, I didn’t know this because I was STARING back, but it’s hard not to notice the SAME car by you with the SAME guy who is just relentlessly gawking at you.

You would think this would cause me to be embarrassed and stop. Nope. That guy could learn a little fun from me. Not only did he almost get into an accident by not stopping when the car in front of him did, I hope he spilled his coffee in his lap. Dude - unless you’re going to join in the song or catch the arm wave I’m passing to you with my free hand… don’t stare. It’s not nice. 

Lesson of the day/week/month:

My mom is literally going to kill me for this, but the last time I laughed so hard I cried was the other day at Friendly’s with my mom where she practically announced she had a rash. I almost just spit out my coffee typing this and reliving it. Anyway – OBVIOUSLY she doesn’t have a rash people, I’m not an a-hole who would put that crap on the internet, but she was playing with the word and it went very wrong. I post this so we can all learn lessons about playing around with words in public.

Well I have a boring meeting to get to that I don’t contribute anything to but am expected to be at so… I guess this break is overJ

Have a blessed day!

xo

I was dreaming when I wrote this... so sue me if I go too fast (name that song)

2011 was quite a year. I’ve evolved relationships, re-connected with true friends, been supported through losses, caught a glimpse of the light at the end of my Grad-school tunnel, made memories, made changes, taken on an attention-whore of a cat (whom I love), re-focused, found new goals, updated my wardrobe for the better and more importantly: my list binder has gotten a LOT bigger. Plus, this is the first year (2012) that I have kept up with my resolutions this long! I LOVE resolutions, I love starting over and new slates and January 1 is always the perfect time for that!

I’ve kept up with my Thankful book:

I’ve been keeping up with my workout video and I have actually been in a great mood at work and have kept things light and fluffy. I can’t take things too seriously here and let it get to me and so far I haven’t. The real test will be the second week of classes when students apply to me, but I’m confident I can keep up with my positivity! I’m avoiding negative people and trying to focus more on the exciting things that are happening this year! Babies, weddings, graduations… wonderful things that deserve my attention a lot more than a stupid job I hate, which will perhaps also lead to a new job this year! Who knows.

I may have gotten ahead of myself here. I forgot about the HOLIDAYS! Even though there was no snow, somehow it was memorableJ

Dec 21- I had dinner with Hayley and other bridesmaids, which was SO MUCH FUN and I’m glad we were able to get away with it! (It was a surprise and it totally worked!)
Dec 22- We had the annual Denker-Goff-Tavares-Valentin Christmas (soon to be the Denker-Tavares-Valentin Christmas!).

It was really fun and this is one of my favorite traditions I’ve been involved in as an adult. I look forward to it every year. I’m lucky to have such a great family here!

Dec 23- I began the trek back to PA. The week went by SO fast! With Blane talking pretty much the entire week non-stop and Brooks sleeping the whole time (which I didn’t mind since he’s so calm and warm all the time) 

I loved every second with the nephews. I guess their mom isn’t so bad eitherJ I always have a blast with Shauna and mom. Dad pretty much slept the entire week, which was for the best. It was VERY windy that week and we definitely would’ve lost him had he gone outside. What I love most is how much I learn while I’m there. Like:

- If gum doesn’t want to be in your mouth anymore… it won’t be.

- Gray hair and lines don’t care how young you are… they’re coming for you.

- Regardless of how far away you park in a lot to avoid other people, someone will ALWAYS bump your door.

- If your nephew screams loud enough in a Walmart for his Non and Mama, people will start to think you kidnapped the child.

- It only takes 25 minutes to annoy your brother-in-law enough to get him to quit the card game.

- When you get older, it gets easier to impulse buy a camper.

            - Asking your neighbor to store your semen isn’t as normal as it seemed when I was in PAJ

… anyway… good times per usual!

I also got to catch up with some of my favorite people in the world; Eileen, her husband Derek, Stephanie, Soupy and her soon-to-be-husband Jeff! I remember in high school thinking how telling it would be over the years to see who you’re still able to be friends with, having grown apart since high school and I love that we are still so supportive and loving of each other. We’re hoping to start an annual trip so we have something to look forward to since we all seem to be continually going our separate ways. I’m also hoping to visit Eileen and Derek in Vermont soon! Maybe when it isn’t so cold thoughJ I think there will be more good times to come with this group as we all keep getting together to celebrate Soup’s marriage… man that’s even weird to typeJ But SO exciting!

I also finally got to see Lindey and Jess’ home! Which is beautiful and homey and comfortable and… under ongoing construction. They’re doing such a good job with it and I can’t wait to see when it’s all finished and has my room done to my specifications. It’s so weird to go from sitting next to them in 8^th grade History talking about a dance or something to sitting in their living room that they built talking about grown up things… well mostly grown-up, I mean.. it IS Lindey and IJ

Next came New Year’s Eve. This year we (Hayley, Tyler, Charlotte, Carl and myself) had a classy-pj party which was a blast!

Classy!!

One of our best NYE’s yet! Oh ummm, only horrifying part of the day/night… watching Dick Clark on his NYE show! WHO let him on the air?! The man had a stroke! What a depressing symbol for a new year! Poor thing can barely speak! Hard to watch… But... the next day we all went for a hike in the Blue Hills Reservation. It was beautiful and so much fun!

ANYWAY…..

Although I only have 17 more days of peace until my last semester of grad school starts, I’m enjoying every bit of it!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and were just as blessed as I was! May 2012 be for all of us a new beginning and a reminder that life is too short to not enjoy every dayJ

(I’m sorry that was obnoxiously optimistic and preachy… but I’m telling you – my revelation was hard-core. I’m a positivity machine!)