Chaos I Call My FaRmily: January 2012

I'm an aunt, daughter, sister, friend, believer, etc. There is a long list of words that make me giggle. I believe in having ice cream for dinner, making strangers smile and finding magic in the smallest of moments. Let's face it, if you found your way here, you probably already know me... I have nothing significant to offer the blogosphere, so this is my online diary so when I'm insane one day and lost all my real diaries that I started a million times and never finished - I have this.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

I was dreaming when I wrote this... so sue me if I go too fast (name that song)

2011 was quite a year. I’ve evolved relationships, re-connected with true friends, been supported through losses, caught a glimpse of the light at the end of my Grad-school tunnel, made memories, made changes, taken on an attention-whore of a cat (whom I love), re-focused, found new goals, updated my wardrobe for the better and more importantly: my list binder has gotten a LOT bigger. Plus, this is the first year (2012) that I have kept up with my resolutions this long! I LOVE resolutions, I love starting over and new slates and January 1 is always the perfect time for that!

I’ve kept up with my Thankful book:

I’ve been keeping up with my workout video and I have actually been in a great mood at work and have kept things light and fluffy. I can’t take things too seriously here and let it get to me and so far I haven’t. The real test will be the second week of classes when students apply to me, but I’m confident I can keep up with my positivity! I’m avoiding negative people and trying to focus more on the exciting things that are happening this year! Babies, weddings, graduations… wonderful things that deserve my attention a lot more than a stupid job I hate, which will perhaps also lead to a new job this year! Who knows.

I may have gotten ahead of myself here. I forgot about the HOLIDAYS! Even though there was no snow, somehow it was memorableJ

Dec 21- I had dinner with Hayley and other bridesmaids, which was SO MUCH FUN and I’m glad we were able to get away with it! (It was a surprise and it totally worked!)
Dec 22- We had the annual Denker-Goff-Tavares-Valentin Christmas (soon to be the Denker-Tavares-Valentin Christmas!).

It was really fun and this is one of my favorite traditions I’ve been involved in as an adult. I look forward to it every year. I’m lucky to have such a great family here!

Dec 23- I began the trek back to PA. The week went by SO fast! With Blane talking pretty much the entire week non-stop and Brooks sleeping the whole time (which I didn’t mind since he’s so calm and warm all the time)

I loved every second with the nephews. I guess their mom isn’t so bad eitherJ I always have a blast with Shauna and mom. Dad pretty much slept the entire week, which was for the best. It was VERY windy that week and we definitely would’ve lost him had he gone outside. What I love most is how much I learn while I’m there. Like:

- If gum doesn’t want to be in your mouth anymore… it won’t be.

- Gray hair and lines don’t care how young you are… they’re coming for you.

- Regardless of how far away you park in a lot to avoid other people, someone will ALWAYS bump your door.

- If your nephew screams loud enough in a Walmart for his Non and Mama, people will start to think you kidnapped the child.

- It only takes 25 minutes to annoy your brother-in-law enough to get him to quit the card game.

- When you get older, it gets easier to impulse buy a camper.

- Asking your neighbor to store your semen isn’t as normal as it seemed when I was in PAJ

… anyway… good times per usual!

I also got to catch up with some of my favorite people in the world; Eileen, her husband Derek, Stephanie, Soupy and her soon-to-be-husband Jeff! I remember in high school thinking how telling it would be over the years to see who you’re still able to be friends with, having grown apart since high school and I love that we are still so supportive and loving of each other. We’re hoping to start an annual trip so we have something to look forward to since we all seem to be continually going our separate ways. I’m also hoping to visit Eileen and Derek in Vermont soon! Maybe when it isn’t so cold thoughJ I think there will be more good times to come with this group as we all keep getting together to celebrate Soup’s marriage… man that’s even weird to typeJ But SO exciting!

I also finally got to see Lindey and Jess’ home! Which is beautiful and homey and comfortable and… under ongoing construction. They’re doing such a good job with it and I can’t wait to see when it’s all finished and has my room done to my specifications. It’s so weird to go from sitting next to them in 8^th grade History talking about a dance or something to sitting in their living room that they built talking about grown up things… well mostly grown-up, I mean.. it IS Lindey and IJ

Next came New Year’s Eve. This year we (Hayley, Tyler, Charlotte, Carl and myself) had a classy-pj party which was a blast!

Classy!!

One of our best NYE’s yet! Oh ummm, only horrifying part of the day/night… watching Dick Clark on his NYE show! WHO let him on the air?! The man had a stroke! What a depressing symbol for a new year! Poor thing can barely speak! Hard to watch… But... the next day we all went for a hike in the Blue Hills Reservation. It was beautiful and so much fun!

ANYWAY…..

Although I only have 17 more days of peace until my last semester of grad school starts, I’m enjoying every bit of it!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and were just as blessed as I was! May 2012 be for all of us a new beginning and a reminder that life is too short to not enjoy every dayJ

(I’m sorry that was obnoxiously optimistic and preachy… but I’m telling you – my revelation was hard-core. I’m a positivity machine!)

Meet The Fam

Mom- The strongest woman I know. I attribute my humor, sarcasm and momentary lapses of sensitivity to her. My neurotic organization and timeliness could also be traced back to her, easily. I keep telling her I will make a shirt that says “only my Mother gets me”… She not only has the ability to laugh at herself, but the suspense of what may come out of her mouth next is completely worth every minute you spend with her. Every day I aspire to be as selfless as she and hope to have the same energy that she has every day! The time we spend together is rarely productive, but most often taken up by running to the bathroom with tears of laughter streaming down our faces. Or… spitting things out of our mouths- which dad loves.

Dad- The person I most often, unintentionally mirror. So many ways to explain him, but none more effective than: a Portuguese, work-a-holic, addicted to caffeine and nicotine, impressed by callouses and blood, who doesn’t know what it feels like to sit down, be bored or not know something. The man carries the most random, seemingly useless, facts and knowledge around with him. I joke that there won’t be much more room left in there if he keeps memorizing what I call “trivial” and he calls “necessary” facts about life and the world. Although he IS very handy when converting units for recipes, etc. He, too, is able to laugh at himself and always finds time to teach a good lesson. His wilderness skills are something to be admired, although his instinct to seek medical attention should not. He prides himself on still being able to run faster than me and beat me up, regardless of my age or weight. I’m still waiting for the day he isn’t expecting me…

Shauna- The milk man’s delivery, as I like to call her- Like every abnormal family, sibling rivalry was at its finest until we both traded in our stone-washed flared jeans for our big girl pants. We couldn’t be more opposite, she and I. Some of you would think, “Well, opposites attract” - you’d be wrong. We’ve worked through the years to a place of acceptance and support that is coated with humor and tough love. She’s always been a 40 yr old stuck in a whatever-age-she-was-at-the-time’s body and I exist as the sister to bring comic relief and nonsense to her carefully arranged life. But her protectiveness and respect for her family is unmatched by anyone I have ever met. She is widely known for her smile and constantly takes you off guard when she trades in her pensive stare for a witty one-liner. My victories with her stem from how many abnormal acts I can talk her into doing (which is a lot). Although her life always seems to be enveloped in constant chaos she has a resilient way of finding the blessing and purpose in every day.

Derek- The brother-in-law. We have always wanted a boy in the family. Until Derek came, I was the closest thing to it and played the role accidentally when it came to following dad around covered in grease. Derek or “the trainee” as I so lovingly like to refer to him, is carefully walking the line between finding his new family quirky and loveable and… crazy. It’s not a secret (or won’t be for long) that I play a rough game of tough love and hard-ass. As he works at earning every inch, he is finding our humorous and good-intentioned family a place where he belongs. As with every boy, he has his set-backs, but I think we will find that if he can handle us, he can handle anything. We all have to give him some credit for sticking with it and not to mention he contributed 50% of himself to my favorite treasure… my nephew.

Blane- Who knew the above two could create such a nugget of perfection. He is 4 and already such a wonderful human being! It’s all happening so fast! He seems to fit in juuussstt fine and already spends most of his time organizing his cars and using sarcasm. (I have no clue where he got that from by the way). He is SO smart and SO sensitive and caring. He's not a huge fan of sharing with his brother, but hey, I'm 26 and I still don't have the sharing thing down.I spend most of my time imagining the days when I will be able to take him to do all of the things Shauna/the law won’t let him do. What are Aunts for anyway?

Brooks- AKA Mr. Snarky-pants.What a handful! He reminds me of myself as a monstrous child. He is, however, the most polite little snark you'll ever meet. His adorable pronunciations of things and his constant questions won't keep you mad for long. In his almost 2 years of life the only thing that can get him to sleep when he's having one of his meltdowns is my singing to him. Melt. My. Heart. He has SO MUCH personality and his voice has one volume. Loud. What an entertainer though. I could watch him for hours.

Hayley- You know that best friend in every movie that every girl wants? She’s wild, unpredictable, endlessly supportive, loving, hilarious, and driven and always finds an adventure out of a mere walk down the street. She vocalizes things most people just think, finds people she encounters fascinating and always makes time for everyone. Well… not to brag, but that’s my best friend Hayley. She is my conscience, my support, my free therapist, my teacher, my patience. No one loves life more. She is constantly challenging herself, improving herself, keeping an open mind about everyone and their beliefs and is never afraid to admit when she just “doesn’t know”.She is currently engaged to someone who literally fits her so perfectly, I would gag if I didn’t love her so much and I wasn’t so grateful to God that she can be blessed in this way. A day without a thought, message or text from her is a day you have missed out on. Her Hayley-isms keep everyone guessing, laughing and appreciating her.

Charlotte- Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte… where do I begin with her? Think of the last person on earth you would ever imagine getting along with, understanding or appreciating… and then meet Charlotte. No one has taught me more than she has. In the past 4 years that I have known her, I have watched her go from a tough-as-nails, pessimistic, don’t-need-anyone, who-needs-a-direction type; to a goal-oriented, independent, selfless, thoughtful, hilarious, irreplaceable person in my life. Most people that interact with us agree that we should have our own reality show, but that usually leads into a fight about who would be the star. Her Puerto-Rican/Southie accent lends additional humor to whatever she is saying and makes you want to know her, if not, be her friend. As all roommates require, we have a routine that seems to work and although there are the moments we would like to kill each other, it’s hard to hold a grudge with someone who forgets what the issue was 30 seconds after it’s over. I thank God every day that I did not follow my instinct to run from her the day we met, but chose to stay and am grateful to be included in the people who get to watch her daily performance.

Lindey - Partner-in-crime doesn't even capture the things I have talked this girl into doing with me. She's the Bonnie to my Clyde. We go wayyyy back. Back to the days of dances, horrible bangs, skipping class and going to each others' sporting events. Life eventually got rough (as it tends to do) and we broke up... (any "we were on a break, Friends fans?"). However, we found our way back to each other, picked up right where we left off and I wouldn't have it any other way. I still cannot believe we're allowed to be grown-ups. And even though she is one of the most amazing mothers ever, I still have SUCH a hard time believing she is a wife and is a mother of two! She's literally super-woman and I'm just blessed to be in her presence. Whether I have an awful impulse to do something dumb or a thought out impulse to conquer the world, she always supports me. I've never been so proud to be friends with someone who grew so seamlessly with me from immature tweens to grown-ups with joys and struggles. Since moving back home to PA, she has been my backbone and I'm so lucky to be a part of her life and beautiful family.

Joyce- It’s funny to think of our relationship at its beginning. As hard as it may be to be intimidated by someone with such an infectious warmth and laughter, there I was. She found me as a young student and gave me an opportunity that I didn’t even know I would rise to. As my supervisor, mentor and leader, our relationship only evolved out of the uncanny similarities that we share and perhaps by her nature of wide-acceptance. To this day, I owe her thanks for my full-time job, my Graduate Student status, comic relief from daily struggles, her constant support and much more. There are no two other people on earth that can cover more random topics than she and I can in 20 minutes. She’s almost angelic in her care, concern, empathy and support for others. Anyone who places us both on the same committee or even in the same room usually appreciate our productivity and similar thinking, but also regrets our A.D.D tendencies, our need for constant sugar and our inability to stay on topic. She is truly someone that has blessed my life.

Melissa- Melissa is the the best part of any day she and I get to interact. Her resemblance to a beautifully formed porcelain doll should not be mistaken for instability or frailty. At first, second and third glance you realize how selfless and sensitive she is to everyone, while still maintaining an instinct to preserve her charming and carefully formed life. Her work-ethic guides her tendency to be hard on herself while always keeping in mind her priorities. Most would describe her as shy and introverted, but those who get the great pleasure of getting to know her, quickly find that her wit and sarcasm are hidden jewels that immediately inspire and comfort. She also just got married in the most beautiful ceremony in the most beautiful place. Everything was perfect and so... "Melissa". I am forever grateful to her that I was able to share in her day.

Renata - A new addition to the family, who easily fits in anywhere like the perfect accent to any outfit you have and think to yourself "what would put this over the top?" She is a whirlwind of laughter, wisdom, care, cheerleader and intellect. I almost forgot to add her because I forgot she wasn't always listed here. I feel like I've known her forever. Like that old soul that felt like it was never missing, because you can't remember the last time it was. She seemed to have entered my life at a time when I most needed the words only she can phrase and the support and laughter only she can offer. She is literally the reason I haven't committed a crime at work and puts me in check daily about my expectations and my hopes. She inspires me to trust what I know and dig deeper into what I question. Any day without an interaction is a day I haven't laughed hysterically or thoroughly looked into my moon-sign. You're a rockstar Tutko.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

I was dreaming when I wrote this... so sue me if I go too fast (name that song)

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